To what end?

I think it goes without saying that the things I treasure in life and love the most are the personal relationships we develop with those around us. As I come to the final death throes of my current job and prepare to transition to the new ones, the relationships have weighed heavily on my mind. Very heavily.

Today I went through my calendar and cancelled my weekly one-on-ones with my team, my team meeting, and a few other standing appointments, and as I did so, I think the reality of moving on finally hit me. This is not going to be fun.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m excited for the new job and for the new opportunities. I’m ready to go. It’s the right time to go. I know that it is the right time to go. I’ve reached a point with my current job that I’m just ready to move on. But at the same time, I realized that I generally love what I do. And when I say love, I mean love. As in I’d do it forever if I could. And the reason I love it is the people.

I find it odd (and frustrating) that the best relationships and friendships only seem to come at the end, and I often ask myself “To what end was this?” Why now? Is it the knowledge of ending that finally drives someone to make the meaningful connections that we all hope will stand the test of time and distance? Is it only now at the close (as JK Rowling might say) that things finally open, become whole, and become real?

One of the truths that gives me the greatest hope is the knowledge that life does goes on, that it has meaning, and, most importantly, that the relationships we have here can continue beyond the toil of this life. I find joy in knowing that goodbye is only temporary if we exercise faith, keep the commandments, and otherwise live the lives we’ve been asked to live.

The end, then, isn’t the knotting of a frayed rope but rather the discovery of the first threads and yarns that spin, twine, and then bind you to me, me to you, and each of us to others.

I’m going to miss my current job, but the truth is that I’m going to miss the people. They have made what was otherwise just a job, a joy. This last week has moved slowly; for that I am grateful as I’ve held on to each moment and tasted the sweetness that finally comes when people truly connect.

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