11

Today is our 11th anniversary. I love this time of year. Not only is it Christmas and our anniversary, but it’s also really close to my birthday and the new year. It’s a time of fresh beginnings and opportunities. It’s a time of close reflection and pondering as well.

And there’s a lot to ponder.

Right now, I’m watching the latest wave of thick, cottony snow blowing in. It’s been snowing off and on since Christmas. We had the truly wonderful experience of going to bed Christmas Eve without a speck on the ground and waking up to a solid four inches.

Looking back over the year, it’s been an incomprehensible year. The amount of things that happened are just a bit mind-boggling right now. New house, no more braces, finished the Masters degree, and so much more. Conquering and overcoming serious trials and challenges would be a big one. I don’t know if people recognize just how complete that escape was. I still get questions from time to time, and people still look at me with that “is he okay” look every now and then. I can’t say it more completely than to say that it’s over. The escape was total and complete and full.

And I’m happy.

Courtney and I have come a long way this year. I think we’re finally starting to figure out that marriage means team, together, and us. I’ve realized that no one really has a perfect marriage, even some of the people I’ve long thought of as having perfect marriages. I’m realizing that what I see externally is the results of the compromising internally. But I don’t get to see the compromising, and I don’t think my idealized perfection is an accurate summation of those efforts. I’m recognizing that I’ve made a mistake in thinking that Courtney and I had only more to learn from other marriages and nothing to offer. The truth is that Courtney and I have some truly incredible things to offer of wisdom, of what works, of what doesn’t.

If you look at the reasons that couples fight, money is almost always first or second it seems. And yet, I can’t remember the last time that we fought (even gently) about money. We’re by no means wealthy, but we have truly got that figured out in a way that works for us. I think we’re figuring out a lot of other things as well, and though we still have our struggles with some things, I’m realizing that everyone does at least somewhere.

And I’m realizing that I’d rather have mine and not theirs. I get mine. I know how to win at mine. I’m so glad I don’t have the struggles that others do. And I’m sure the feeling’s mutual.

As I think back over the year past–the successes, the failures–I’m glad we did it. It was about this time last year that I hit the bottom so to speak. Splatted really. The miracles that have come our way since then would not have been accomplished alone. Could not have been accomplished alone.

Blogging Buddy MarlaJayne always picks a word for the year to focus and drive her life. Two years ago, I chose the word “Go” to remind me to move when moving was warranted. Because of that word, I started my Masters and got braces. This last year, I chose the word “Thanks” to remind me that there is beauty in a troubled life and many things to be grateful for.

As I sit here thinking of the coming year and what I want to do and the life I want to lead, I have a single word flowing across my mind:

Peace.

Peace in spirit, in body, in mind. Peace in marriage, in family, in friendships. Peace in the gospel, with my ward, and especially with my Savior. I got a new calling last Sunday (High Priest Group Instructor), and I am eager to begin. It will be wonderful to spend each week this coming year preparing to teach the words of modern day prophets. And I expect that will help bring peace.

The snow is still falling. There is nothing like taking a walk in the falling snow. The crunch beneath your feet, the muted softness of sound. I love when a big flake catches your eye lashes or lands on your nose or cheek. I love seeing the snow build up on my shoulders and my head. The potent heat of walking into a warm room after, and the foggy breath that says your alive. Yes, peace.

It’s going to be a good year.

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3 Responses to 11

  1. Lora Leigh says:

    Merry Christmas, Lovelesses. Glad to hear that happiness and peace have finally come your way. It’s been a tumultuous year for us too, but I can see the ways we are stronger and better as a result. Hope this year is a wonderful one for your family!

  2. Talking With Bees says:

    Hi Dave,

    Wishing you a happy 2015 – I think we can drop that “prosperous” bit – it’s more about the love!

    Congrats on 11 years. We’ve managed 2.5 years so far. Sometimes we’re a team, sometimes we just try to argue who’s the most tired.

    We find comedy films a great way to relax and better yet if the centre piece is a married couple who are trying to survive. We watched “Bad Neighbours” last night. I really like Seth Rogen – great comedy actor.

    I managed to find some time over Christmas to write about the Asian Hornet and the Small Hive Beetle. Do you have the latter in Alaska? I’d be interested to know.

    Take care,

    • daveloveless says:

      Definitely. Prosperity is more an attitude of contentment than anything anyway. Comedies, BBC (can someone please explain to me why the media might of America cannot do anything remotely close to the wonders of the BBC?), and good thrillers are our resources. We’re quite fond of some of the older comedies like What’s Up Doc.

      I have never had a problem with small hive Beatles, but my understanding is they are more or less everywhere. Kind of like varroa. And the Asian Hornet is one nasty bug! Glad we don’t have those over here!

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