Transference is the unconscious transfer of thoughts, feelings, and attitudes from one thing to another, and I’ve noticed that I seem to experience that a lot lately. Anything that frustrates me right now is transferred to a certain person, and the consequence is a nice roller coaster of spiraling frustration. As those thoughts transfer into an already intense and frustrating situation for me, I’ve also noticed that reason, logic, and the norm of thought are easy to discard. Finally, the whole thing is synergistic. The original frustration and the transferred frustration are not, by themselves, able to drive a person to the point of true anger or rage, but combined they accomplish what neither could do alone.
I’ve also noticed that transference seems to be more or less common to the human condition (of course it is), but perhaps more so than what you and I typically give it credit for. As I’ve struggled with not transferring that frustration and letting it build, I’ve noticed that transference isn’t necessarily bad nor is necessarily human related.
On the human front, how much does it bother you that people group people into categories by preconceived stereotypes? For example, have you ever heard a liberal talk about a conservative (or vice versa)? Both are transferring the preconceived notions of their personal experience from a severely limited viewpoint to paint an entire demographic in a certain light. And yes, did you notice that I transferred my own experiences in those conversations into a generalization of the attitude of both groups against each other?
But the point is that transference in this case is more related to the attitudes we have about something or someone as much as it is about transferring real emotional thoughts onto another person. This is as much about your own attitude and willingness to listen and participate in the human dialog as it is about the actual transference. Optimism isn’t always thinking positively just as pessimism isn’t always thinking negatively. Rather, it is the transfer of negative or positive attitudes to a potential future based on your prior experiences AND–more critically–to the experiences you choose to transfer.
So where am I going with this? No clue. 🙂 Must there be a point to the rambling?
I guess the goal was to make sure that I’m being open to the experiences around me for what they are–independent, unconnected events that are there for the opportunity–instead of pre-assigning or transferring my past experiences.
In other words, give it a chance.
We can all grow, change, learn, try, do differently, and otherwise experience life in new ways each and every day. Surprise yourself sometime. You’ll enjoy it.