Do you want to know how nice the break was? Nice enough that I could not get up the energy to even bother to write my standard end of the year/anniversary post. 🙂
I was remarkably relaxed.
So the year in review… Well, we set a record this year in visitors. Just over 26,000! I’m not sure how we top that. I mean, I’m not a commercial blog by any means, and I’m just not sure what would drive those numbers higher. To be frank, I don’t really care if they go higher, but… you know. We are also just shy of hitting the 100,000 mark for total visitors. I expect that to fall sometime in March or April. Just in time for the tulips.
On the home front, we just completed our first year without renters, and I cannot begin to describe how right that choice was. It was scary to cut out that source of income, but a year later, I am realizing how essential and necessary that was for us. The kids have never been happier, and neither have we. Our living room upstairs is what I’ve always wanted. Our family room downstairs is getting better. The hexagon room (the basement bedroom) is a war zone, one that I meant to tame this holiday season and didn’t. Courtney made a valiant effort, but there is still much to be done before we can comfortably push the kids downstairs and make way for Baby Carolyn’s arrival (that’s the name by the way. Minus the “baby” part.).
We bought new living room furniture: a beautiful bench with storage and two really nice chairs for me and Courtney. We have the new beds picked out for the kids as well–A Wal-mart special toddler bed for Myron and just a simple twin for Katherine. She’s getting big enough that she needs that. Our hope is that by the time Myron is ready for a twin, we’ll be able to switch Myron for Carolyn. That’ll put the two girls downstairs in the biggest bedroom and Myron by himself in the small upstairs bedroom. We’ll probably get a bunk bed as well to make the downstairs bedroom work even better.
And the anniversary? We hit eight years on Friday. I’ve been pondering the current state of my marriage lately, and I’ve realized that in many ways we’ve become comfortable. Almost complacent. That is, of course, something that needs to change. At the same time, being comfortable is a good thing. We’re in a situation where we are becoming more able to talk frankly and openly. Honestly.
Communication has always been one of the struggles for us. We both have distinctly different styles of communication and interpretations. Courtney is grossly literal. I’m not. Except when I ask questions. Go figure. We’re both still learning, though, and there is lots of time before us to work it all out.
Looking ahead, I turn 33 next week. I feel old, but not nearly as old as I used to. This is the prime of life, but I don’t feel primed. For the New Year, I’m hopeful that I’ll finally make some of those important changes for my personal life that I’ve sought for years. You have the standard things: weight, exercise, bad habits, etc. But I also want to get into other habits that are the little things, the foundational things. Right after I was called to the High Council, I instituted several habits that were wonderful. I’d listen to General Conference in the mornings, I would read my scriptures more faithfully, and, most importantly, I’d stay engaged in activities. I was consciously trying to do those things that were of greatest worth. Lately… not so much. I’ve lapsed on a lot of things, and it affects me.
I’ve noticed a few simple truths–When I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing, I feel better. I feel more love for my wife and my family. I’m more capable of doing those things that are important. I’m more able to discern what I should do. I’m stronger. I’m happier.
It’s when I don’t do those simple things that I’m unhappy, that I’m unproductive, that I’m… out of it.
I’m not a movie person, but the movie Prestige had a line that always hit me. I won’t spoil it for the few of you who haven’t seen it (GO SEE IT!!!!), but the wife will often look at her husband and say, “You don’t love me today.” When I fail in the simple things, I feel like I can say that about a lot of things. When I succeed, all is well. Very well.
Sigh… Enough of that. Back to work. Back to the season of renewal. Of trying again. As my mother has on a small frame in the bathroom, “Work will win when wishy washy wishing won’t.”
So get to work! 🙂