Back Up Fondue

Because of all the stress we are all feeling at work, a bunch of us got together and decided to do a fondue today for lunch. I have a love/hate relationship with fondues. They are fun for what they are, but I always feel gross afterwards because they are so rich. I also tend to overeat, and since a fondue will never fill you up, I really overeat.

We decided we’d do a cheese and a chocolate fondue, and I was tasked with making assignments. I assigned myself the chocolate fondue (I melt a nice chocolate bar like Dove or Symphony, and today we are mixing in a bit of Nutella to give it a nice nutty flavor). I also assigned one of my friends, Candace, to bring the cut up fruit: bananas, strawberries, apples, and so on. I also started teasing her that she was going to forget, and we’d need to assign someone to bring “back up fruit” just in case.

Meanwhile, Courtney ran to the store and got everything since I had to work late last night. When I got home, I carefully packed the chocolate and the fondue pot and everything else I would need in a bag and set it aside for this morning. And that is where the fondue still sits… at home. And I’m at work 45 miles away.

And I can’t tell you how much I’m dreading having Candace come in to work today.

Does anyone happen to have a back up fondue I could borrow!?!?

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By the way, you’re on hold….

My work often uses Conference Calling because we have offices scattered all over the U.S. and the world. I’m often one of the first people on the call and, therefore, get to spend a few moments listening to the hold music. The hold music is a short piece that recycles every 30 seconds or so.

As if the repitition weren’t bad enough, the music includes a short bit that sounds strangely like crickets in the background. It’s just one of those little things that just helps you remember that you’re on hold.

How nice.

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Moving Up in the World

I was sitting at my desk looking out the window today, and I realized something. My last six jobs, stretching all the way back into my first year of college, have had an interesting progression.  Check it out….

Job 1: I worked at the campus library in a department located two stories underground.

Job 2: I worked at a language training center in a department located one story underground.

Job 3: I worked at a printer software company on the ground floor.

Job 4: I worked at a retail software company on the second floor.

Job 5: I worked at an online auction company on the third floor.

Job 6: I currently work at a benefits company on the fourth floor.

I wonder if I should make “a desk on the fifth floor” a requirement of my next position?

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Freelance Technical Writing

I have always wanted to freelance my technical writing. It’s a good fit for me for many reasons, but the biggest is probably the simple fact that I find that kind of constant change exciting and interesting. Recently, I had the opportunity to make that change.

I was contacted by a local corporation that serves as the middle man for freelance technical writers. I prefer this exchange to true solo-freelancing simply because it means that I don’t spend much of my time hunting for contracts. At the same time, a former employer offered me a small freelance project on the side. The two projects are extremely interesting to me, end about the same time, and provide a solid basis for launching this aspect of my career.

So if anyone has any freelance technical writing they need done, drop me a line. I’m open for business.

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Dave’s Wonderful World of English Usage: A Classic Typo

I always enjoy a good typo. Today at work, I noticed one that was just wonderful.

I  currently work with government surplus auctions. One government agency apparently had some problems with a river flooding on to their municipal golf course. To stem the tide, they bought several large quarried stone blocks that they placed along the edge of the river. Now that the flooding has passed, they want to get rid of the blocks, so they placed them up for auction. Part of the auction listing included this little gem that includes three typos. Two are pretty normal; the other is downright wonderful.

“There blocks were used just over a year ago for damning an area at our Golf Course and we are no longer in need of them.”

The three typos are as follows:

• The word “there” should be “these.”
• There should be a comma separating the two independent clauses.
• The word “damning” should be “damming.”

Of course, all this begs the question. Do they require a special vote on the issue of damning the area, or can you do that with a simple City Council vote?

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The Greasy Spoon, er, Training Table

Over the last week, everyone at work has been talking up a local restaurant, the Training Table. With all the talk going on, it quickly progressed to a Thursday lunch trip, which we just finished. Here are my thoughts….

The Training Table bills itself as a unique dining establishment. For example, there are no waiters and people seat themselves. At your selected table, you find a stack of menus. To order, you pick up the phone at your table, place the order, wait for them to call you back, and then go get your food. You pay for your food when you pick it up and just walk out when you are done like a cafeteria. I suppose some people might find that entertaining, but when I go out to eat, I like to be served.

For all the talking up, I certainly expected better. I first sat down in a booth, but I found my knees pressed up against the opposing bench. The décor was definitely blasé with a touch of mediocre. Add to that the fact that my coworker pointed out that the phones were probably a breeding pit of various germs and diseases, and the meal could not have been off to a better start.

My order (Grilled Cheese with Cheese Fries) had one very big positive; it was inexpensive (about $8) compared to a normal work lunch. On the other hand, I could have made a similar meal at home for less than $2. Actually, I could have made a better meal at home for less than $2. The bread was dry and only lightly buttered. The cheese was warm and not even melted. The cheese fries were French fries with cheese sprinkled on top (hardly an original idea). Heck, I even had to pour my own water (I got a glass with some ice in it).

It all left me wondering: everyone I had talked to says that the Training Table is a fantastic restaurant. Well… I’m still waiting for the fantastic.

In the interim, I could certainly use a stomach pump to remove the oil spill that is the remnants of that meal in my belly.

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